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For Closure... Really?

I hear people make such lame excuses and I wonder who is actually kidding who? You wouldn't believe all the theatrics implored by our hearts and mind as an excuse for some of the things we do. As humans, we keep putting ourselves through so much pain and all in the name of finding peace...'closure' as some would say.

 

 

Someone hurts you deeply ; a boss fires you unjustly, your family members chose to castigate you for taking a contrary stand on a particular issue, a loved one breaks your heart and moves on without you, a certain best buddy betrays you or worse still you lose a dear one and in lieu of moving on, you find yourself heading down the twisted trail of falsehood called 'closure.'

 

 

But then, is there such a thing? do we ever stop hurting from all these painful blows dealt by life or fate? do we ever really get to the point where we stop remembering? the point where the pains don't exist? In as much as I would really want to say yes to all of these, the unfortunate truth is No! there is never an end to deeply felt pain. No! there is not a thing like closure and Oh Yes! we maybe ; living a lie, in a mythical realm to think that there really is a thing called closure.

 

 

Maybe in varying degrees, the pains would still exist. Maybe in lesser frequencies the flashes of pain would always be there. It could be a voice that reminds you of just how much you miss that loved one, or the whiff of a familiar scent that tells you just how much you miss your old job, it could be a song that tells you just how distant you have become from your family, it could be anything.

 

 

With age comes the realization that hurts and pains don't need a huge amount of space in our lives, even in the tiniest of spaces, as long as it is a pain that you felt deeply, it would always exist and so saying that your pains exist as long as you exist would be right.

 

 

What then does closure do for us? where then does closure get us? where is that so called end to pain closure promises to provide?...the answer is nowhere! Closure is a myth. Closure is inexistent, it is a lie we tell ourselves to help us cope with hurts and pains. But instead of helping us cope, it messes with our psyche by giving us an illusion that doesn't exist.

 

The way forward? ...realize that as humans the unexpected would happen, life would happen, the good exists in the same world the bad does and in lieu of living under the cover of denial, we could actually accept the facts, feel the pain and then find succor in the fact that memories aren't meant to break us but to make us and most importantly there is no such thing as closure!

 

 

by Maureen Alasa

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