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Red Velvet Cake Situation

Some of us just do not get it. Not because we do not try hard enough, not because we do not look good enough, sometimes it has nothing to do with attitude, we just do not get it! Sometimes no matter how hard we try, we always get the wrong deal regardless of how much of a push we give for the bargain.



So let us talk about those of us who are in this place. This place where we just cannot help but fall in love with the wrong kinds, sets, types of people. It might be easy for someone to quickly hit a button and in the end produce a rather twisted reason why it is psychologically allowed. A psychologist would definitely provide a name and some psychological reason why this could happen.


But for those who have felt this, we know it is nothing! We just have a thing for loving that way. It is just like red velvet cake. Red depicts all the scary, fiery, dangerous things you can think of and yet you see an assorted platter of cakes and your spatula just keeps cutting into the 'red velvet cake'. First through the cream cheese topping which is nothing as sweet as proper icing and of course which should have served as our warning to flee. But as a cake lover you know cream cheese is incomparable and so you are endeared to cut deep, until every last crimson, red color has been taken off your plate.



We see the red danger yet we hold on to the sweetness on our tongues and we even shut our eyes just so that reality doesn't come knocking. The reality that this would cause the pounds to keep piling, pounds which in this case means heartache, heartbreak and all the grammatically correct forms of pain this red velvety kind of affair could cause.



Oh yes! Most of us have loved wrong, some are still loving wrong and others would love wrong and it would be a rather disgusting display of unnecessary self-righteousness to say this is a foreign situation.



So the real question here is 'when you find yourself in this kind of love what do you do?'



A lot of people would say: walk out, run while you can, leave and all the bla bla superficial blas people are always willing to give in form of advice. But do you want to know the truth? Red velvet is great! It gives you a different kind of high and so I say:


l  First acknowledge that you are in a red velvet kind of mess, it helps you deal better.

l  It is okay to walk in blind and find out when you are already in so savor it. Every velvety taste, every crimson stain, enjoy the way you feel about this person.

l  There are no rules and so it all depends on you. When you want to walk away, when you feel comfortable and strong enough to, then do without a backward glance.

l  The reason for 3 above is simple, walking away when you are ready to, gives you the strength to deal with the cravings and defeat it by suppression and ultimate death.

l  If you find yourself in a red velvet cake situation, you need to let it teach you. For every pain you feel, let it be a reminder that you deserve and would get better henceforth.

l  Red velvet can feel so good so make sure to enjoy every short lived pleasure of it.

l  Being in this kind of situation does not make you less of yourself, it just means you made a wrong call and that has never being a terrible thing, it just makes you human.

I can see some 'holier than thou' eyes rolling but hey, he who has never loved the wrong person at some point in their life, that person who ends up being bad for you, then he should cast the first stone!



Love could leave one in a twisted mess and most times rules do not apply because there are no rules. It is almost like walking in a dark tunnel with just one source of illumination 'your heart.' So for those who think these tips are not agreeable, remember when you had to make a wrong turn on your way to someplace and just cut yourself or whoever is in this situation some slack!...red velvet cake is a situation...not a condition!



By Maureen Alasa

NB –Share your thoughts, join the conversation :

by tweeting at me @mzmaure

or on facebook at  www.facebook.com/MaureenAlasa

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