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Why So Cold???

Have you ever had to wonder this about a particular person? Have you ever had to use the adjective cold to qualify anyone in your life? A friend, Boss, colleague, family member or worse still a lover? Well if for any reason you have had to, then you know just what it means to use this qualifier. Nothing hurts more than that all too familiar stand-offish attitude you get when you need a little more involvement. The way your heart aches knowing that you cannot quite share your pain and fears and concerns with the one person you really want to do so with. So for those of us who can relate with this, today is about finding answers to the rhetorical musings of our hearts.


Science can blame in on certain genetic alterations, psychology can call it whatever but then, nothing explains the detachment, the fact that their negative attitude could send chills to even the warmest hearts. There have also been extreme cases where even trying to say something to warm up the coldness in this person still gets to be nullified by the ice cold response they dish out. Thus leading us back to the question ‘why so cold’? Is there even light at the end of the tunnel for those who have found themselves in the ‘one chance scene’ of falling in love with a cold person? How hot is hot enough to melt a cold heart?


Like living, here are a few helpful facts about a ‘cold person’:
- Being involved with a cold person requires patience so if you were looking for some quick happy ever after encounter then you might have to look elsewhere.
- The cold person is human after all, he/she would definitely get switches. There would be great times that could make you forget who you are dealing with.
- This individual has problems letting another in, so get ready to climb the wall they have built around themselves.
- They see the act of loving as weak and mushy and they would definitely fight love even when they fall head over heels into it.
- One fact about this type of people is they could really be great lovers if they let themselves.
- They could be unforgiving and over protective when you least expect.
- But most importantly, they need you as much as you need them so don’t give up.


This is not some mushy piece to serve as a ‘making excuses’ version of a very disheartening situation, because In as much as I want to assure you that the cold hearted person wasn’t born that way and may have had influence from other external factors like family, environment and life mould them into the ice block they have become, remember that there is only an amount you can do. They have to also throw you a ladder, a rope or something to give you a hint that they are willing to let you in even though they can’t seem to bring down the walls for you.


So is there light at the end of the tunnel? Yes there could be. Can anything justify the pain they cause us? No! Nothing can. Is there an answer to the ultimate question? Well, you would have to ask them yourself because they have to know that you know. It could also help if you:
- Let them know just how all of this coldness hurts and aches and how it is threatening to numb you out.
- Stand by and make it obvious you wouldn’t mind helping them pull through their Iceland.
- Never give off negative energy. Even though your positivity might make them upset because they feel alone in their cold heartedness as your positivity might be all they need to be human again.
- Know when to walk away and what fight is worth fighting.



In conclusion, there is no quick fix for these set of people. There is no text book answer to justify this. You cannot find a ‘how to book’ that is ‘the answer’. No amount of heat can melt this heart as each case is peculiar in itself. So my advice, it takes patience, love, strength and most of all wisdom.


Feel free to air your views, agree or disagree by clicking on the register button below and let me know exactly what your thoughts are. To suggest a topic, you can also send your suggestions via mail to: mauraleen@yahoo.com....don't just read...let's talk!

By Maureen Alasa

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